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When I told him this was frankly none of us his business he got angry and called me ugly this guy was no Brad Pitt. I was baffled: Was this an actual tactic to get me to sleep with him? Were his words meant to make me feel desperate to procreate and unsure I could pull anyone else? Or was he just enjoying being mean? My first dip into the world of online dating after leaving a long-term relationship had been an eye opener. Men on apps could be really nasty. And it makes me feel really sad to see them question themselves.
I took to social media to ask women, and men, the rudest, or most abusive things they heard on dating apps. As I expected, I was inundated with females sharing their experiences. The beautician, from Swindon, who has Asperger syndrome, found some of the comments from other women online unhelpful when she shared what happened to her.
I think anyone would be hurt by a personal comment like that. He tried to explain that yes, he had, and that the fat on my vagina is a different section to my gut. I laughed at him and it all went rather quiet after that. It was just rude. Many women reported men getting nasty when they were rejected, or perceived to be. I was 31 and had a daughter. Cassie Fox recalled her worst date. Made him pay for my cab home.
Three years later I am in a student bar and this same guy yes, really began chatting me up then asked me out. I turned him down with some satisfaction. She published a study on the Bye Felipe and Tinder Nightmares social media s, which publish examples of messages that women have received. Sexualised and gendered slurs slut, whore, bitch are also ubiquitous. She notes that mostly this happened after a woman had ignored a message or communicated disinterest, even politely.
Laura suggests that the anger and hostility seen in online dating comes from a sense of emasculation and loss of control in the face of shifting gender—power relations. The men who feel males should be dominant and in a more powerful position when it comes to seeking sex, are thrown by sexual liberated women taking charge and the rejection that can come with that. Double standards stubbornly persist, says Laura.
Psychotherapist and psychologist Helena Lewis, owner of On Route Health, said the vitriol displaying on apps is too socially accepted. Women often feel calling the guy out brings them some control. Log In. Log In Register now My. Real Life. By Claudia Tanner.
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‘He told me I was too fat and left’: Women reveal the worst things said to them when online dating – and we explain why some men are so hateful