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Last Updated: May 23, References. This article was co-authored by our trained team of editors and researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness. This article has been viewed 69, times. Learn more What's considered "cool" is usually in the eye of the beholder.
But whether you fashion yourself as a proud nerd or artiste, a punk or a preppy, there is one constant that sets people off as "cool," and that is confidence in who you are. Even if you can count the of friends you have with one hand, self-confidence will transcend any biases people may have about your clothes, interests, or the size of your clique. Log in Social does not work in incognito and private browsers.
Have a positive attitude. Show other people that you are someone who is worth having around, regardless of the circumstances. Treat failures as experiences to learn from, obstacles as challenges to overcome, and just about everything else in life as an opportunity to improve yourself! Keep negative comments about others to yourself. Be cool, not perfect. Being confident means that you feel content with who you are, flaws and all. Avoid deluding yourself into thinking that you are superior to everybody else.
Acting superior will make people think that you are doing just that: acting. Risk looking foolish. Show other people that you are brave enough to not care what people think, but also confident enough to laugh at yourself when you do end up looking ridiculous. Voice your opinions during projects, debates, or casual chitchat, but concede with a laugh that you were wrong when other people prove themselves right.
Show your confidence with body language. Feel free to make gestures to liven up your conversations, but in general, try to be still. Convey the sense that you are perfectly comfortable in your surroundings. Own the space that you are in by showing that you have no intention of fleeing.
Move at a relaxed pace and keep your gestures small and languid. In conversation, always look people in the eye. When you are standing, distribute your weight evenly across both legs. Own the ground you stand on. Keep your feet planted in place. Sit still. Whatever seat you take, relax in it as you would in your favorite chair.
Resist the urge to lean forward or bounce your legs as if you are ready to bolt at the first opportunity. Maintain an air of mystery. When prompted, share your thoughts and opinions without fear, but refrain from oversharing, especially if no one asked for them in the first place. Avoid being confused as a bully or bragger. Share what's relevant to the moment, but leave other people wanting to know more about you, rather than wanting you to shut up already.
If a conversation drifts into an area you know quite well, respond knowingly to comments other people make, but stop short of lecturing. Leave all the really impressive things about you unmentioned. For example, if you happen to be talking about baseball, share your thoughts and opinions without mentioning the fact that you were the MVP for every team you ever played on. Make people tease information from you.
Method 2 of Introduce yourself simply. Allow the other person to learn about you through natural conversation. I run track for Such-and-Such High School. Be true to the situation. Avoid coming across as a bragger. Even though your guitar skills have to do with music, stick to your fan-based conversation about other musicians that the two of you admire.
Impress the other person with your skills and your self-assurance by letting them find out how great you are from someone else entirely. Share your discomfort. Instead, make the bold move of admitting to feeling anxious! Show the other person that you are so confident in yourself that you are comfortable sharing your imperfections, even with new people. Lure them into an instant air of intimacy by allowing them to see your vulnerabilities from the get-go.
Do crowds make you nervous? Say as much and let the other person know that hanging out one-on-one in the future will reveal you at your best.
Say you are at a football game and know nothing about the sport. Instead of faking interest or knowledge, confide in the other person and stoke their ego by relying on their expertise to guide you through the game. Talk less, listen more. Keep the conversation focused on them. Show them that you are less interested in advertising yourself and more interested in learning about them.
When the conversation ends, leave them feeling intrigued so they become eager to find out more about you. When they tell you a story, ask follow-up questions to indicate your interest. When you share your own thoughts and opinions, ask them what their take is to shift the spotlight back onto them.
Method 3 of Value the friends you have.
But remember: it would look kind of suspicious if the few friends you do have all started to bail on you. Prove to them as well as to others outside your circle that you are definitely worth their time, respect, and loyalty. Put your friends before you. Shun the idea of being the center of attention. When your friends need to unload or vent or even just BS, put yourself on the back burner and really listen to what they have to say.
Prove to them that you really do desire to know exactly what they think and feel about this, that, and the other thing. Respond directly to their comments rather than switching the subject or simply stating your own opinions. If you feel like a personal story or opinion of your own would benefit them, frame it in a way that clearly shows that this is a response to what they have said, and not just an opportunity for you to talk about yourself. Respect their criticisms.
When they point out a flaw of yours, take it as constructive feedback rather than an insult. Keep an ear out for repeated hints about your flaws in case your friends are reluctant to address them directly. But making smaller gestures more often is much more feasible and consistent. Make your friends feel important to you on a daily basis. Show them that you think about them all the time. Make a point of giving them a small that they are on your mind each day. Offer to do them favors and make their lives easier when they are busy, sick, or bummed out for some reason, or just do those favors anyway without asking if they need them.
Forge new memories. Pump some new life into your shared routines. Make your friendship exciting. Make your plans together or surprise them with a readymade adventure. Go on a road trip, even if a day-trip is all you can manage. Learn new skills together by taking art classes, guitar lessons, etc.
Get out of your comfort zone and take part in a poetry reading, open mic night, karaoke, or something more death-defying, like skydiving or rock climbing! Submit a Tip All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published. Related wikiHows How to. How to. More References 7. About This Article.
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How to Make Friends As An Adult In 5 Easy to Use Steps